I stumbled upon some actual questions of the United States Citizenship test the other day. I wasn’t able to answer many of them, since they referred to Amendments of their Constitution and other similar things I had no knowledge in. In a similar fashion, I tried to find questions from my own country’s citizenship test to see how many I could get right. I was able to find a practice test at the Richmond Public Library website.

Some of the answers are just too hilarious, I had to share them. I couldn’t stop laughing on some of those! Here are a few of them. Uproarious answers underlined:

4. Which group of Aboriginal peoples make up more than half of the population in the Northwest Territories and Nunavut?
a. Acadians.
b. Métis
c. First Nations.
d. Inuit.

Behold the Acadians of Nunavut!

9. Who were the United Empire Loyalists?
a. Settlers who came to Canada from the United States during and after the American Revolution.
b. Aboriginal peoples.
c. Métis
d. Inuit.

11. Which trade spread across Canada making it important to the economy for over 300 years?
a. Hudson’s Bay trade.
b. Mining trade.
c. Fur trade.
d. Ice trade.

Ice was such a popular and rare item in Europe back then.

12. What form of transportation did Aboriginal peoples and fur traders use to create trading networks in North America?
a. Roads.
b. Waterways.
c. Railway.
d. Air.

“Attention please. Last call for AboriginAir Flight 1 at gate 1.”

28. Name three legal rights protected by the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.
a. Freedom of speech, right to not pay taxes, and right to a fair trial.
b. Right to live and work anywhere in Canada, right to a fair trial, and right to protection against discrimination.
c. Right to ski anywhere in Canada, right to move, and right to public assembly.
d. Right to vote, right to live and work anywhere in Canada, and right to deliver speeches on the radio.

Hahaha! I want to ski in Sheila Copps backyard, it’s my legal right.

29. List three ways in which you can protect the environment.
a. Work near where you live, drive to work, take a taxi.
b. Use unleaded gas, drive a small car, travel by yourself.
c. Compost and recycle, conserve energy and water, walk or join a car pool.
d. Pour solvents down storm drains, leave taps running, leave lights on.

I laughed for a good 5 minutes on this one.

30. Who has the right to apply for a Canadian passport?
a. Canadian citizens.
b. Landed immigrants.
c. Visitors.
d. British subjects.

“We’re back from our Canadian trip! We got a passport as a souvenir.”

32. Name six responsibilities of citizenship.
a. Get a job, make money, raise a family, pay taxes, mow your lawn, vote.
b. Vote, join a political party, get a job, obey the law, drive safely, pick up litter.
c. Care for the environment, don’t litter, pay taxes, obey the law, help others, respect others.
d. Vote, help others, care for our heritage and environment, obey Canada’s laws, respect the rights of others, eliminate injustice.

34. What is Canada’s system of government called?
a. Dictatorship.
b. Parliamentary government.
c. Military Rule.
d. Communism.

“I’m applying to be a Canadian Citizen, because I just love communism!”

33. Give an example of how you can show responsibility by participating in your community.
a. Mind your own business.
b. Have a party.
c. Keep your property tidy.
d. Join a community group.

37. What are the two official languages of Canada?
a. English and Métis.
b. Inuit and French.
c. English and French.
d. English and Inuit.

3. What song is Canada’s national anthem?
a. God Save the Queen.
b. O Canada.
c. Star Spangled Banner.
d. Amazing Grace.

64. Which country borders Canada on the south?
a. United States of America.
b. Central America.
c. Mexico.
d. Washington.

80. Who do Members of Parliament represent?
a. All of the Canadians living in the north.
b. Only Canadians living in Central Canada.
c. Everyone who lives in his or her electoral district.
d. Canadians living in the province in which he/she was elected.

The other Canadians are so meaningless

83. Name two responsibilities of the federal government.
a. National defence and firefighting.
b. National defence and foreign policy.
c. Citizenship and highways.
d. Recycling and education.

The building is on fire! Quick, call Stephen Harper!

90. What is written on a federal election ballot?
a. The list of candidates running for Prime Minister.
b. The names of the candidates in your electoral district in alphabetical order from “A” to “Z”.
c. The list of Canadians eligible to vote.
d. The results of the election.

c. Every election in Canada consumes 5% of the forests each time and every ballot weights 35 kilograms.
d. How convenient! Sounds like an election in Cuba.

100. What is a voter information card?
a. Tells you who the candidates are in your electoral district.
b. Tells you what province to vote in.
c. A form that tells you when and where to vote.
d. A form that lets you know your voting time.

“I sure hope they don’t send me vote in Saskatchewan this year!”

101. Who has the right to run as a candidate in federal elections?
a. Anyone.
b. A Canadian citizen who is 16 years old.
c. Any man who is at least 18 years old.
d. Any Canadian citizen who is at least 18 years old.

Because the only thing Canadian women can do is ski wherever they want.

– Pierre Nick

PS: For those curious about my score, I got 86% since the last 12 or so questions were on current politics in British Columbia, a topic I have zero clue on (such as: “Who is the current leader of the opposition in BC?”).

Ça se plaint qu’il manque des ports et un lecteur optique, que la batterie est intégrée et non-amovible, que la RAM ne peux être accédée.. MAIS ça se plaint PAS que c’est la plus merveilleuse ingénierie au monde — HEY! la batterie est plus grosse que le logic board! — que c’est un ordinateur portable de la mort en terme de performance, avec une épaisseur qui va de 0.16″ à 0.76″ pour 1.3 kg par exemple!

Mise en situation:

Steve Jobs: We have for you the new MacBook Air! It’s 1″ thin, with a removable battery, an optical drive, 5 USB 2.0 ports! Oh also no solid state memory option, it’s got a big nice ol’ notebook hard drive! Amazing!

Tout le monde: Ah ben là! C’est ça qui appellent un sub-notebook? C’est même pas mince s’t'affaire-là! Ils auraient pu ôter des ports, ou peut-être même le lecteur optique! Y’ont tu pensé à une batterie intégrée? Yé pas vraiment léger aussi, ‘Air’ mon oeil!

Arrêtez donc d’être jamais content.

Go check out Nick Clark-Spear’s interpretation of “O Holy Night”, actually one of my favorite Christmas carols. Bathroom acoustics is the new studio in this user-generated content Web 2.0 Internet era. And it does a pretty descent job.

This young promising baritone has passion and talent which I know will take him far. He’s also such a good friend of mine with such a remarkable voice too if you ask me!

Leave a comment while you are there if you liked it! Enjoy!

Josh Groban - O Holy Night by Nick Clark-Spear

This was the title of a spam I got, which mysteriously escaped GMail’s filters.
Hey, it must be real, look at all those impressive complicated codes in the email!

BATCH: (13/26/DC36.)
TICKET NUMBER: 74454774
SERIAL NUMBER: 144-66584
BATCH NUMBER: BT-4478474121P
File reference number:IPL/4249859609/WP1
YOUR SECURITY FILE NUMBER IS Z-90237-Y67/U4

The lottery also sends email from Yahoo accounts!
Remember this: Codes + Yahoo = True confidence.
Where do I sign up?

C’est HP à la job qui assure le service technique à l’échelle corporative.  À chaque fois que j’appelle je ris toujours tout seul après avoir sélectionné l’option ‘Français’.

Tous nos agents sont toujours occupés. Veuillez demeurer en ligne afin de conserver votre priorité d’appel …

Je ne vois pas pourquoi je demeurerais en ligne si tous leurs agents sont toujours occupés.

• De Cyberpresse par Jean-Luc: Boule Magik, de la BS! Des recherches et des scientifiques qui n’existent pas, des équations chimiques sans queue ni tête.. Du marketing saveur crosseur.
  La Boule Magik, vraiment magique?
• Trente-huit jours avant les Jeux de génie 2008. C’est l’ETS qui rentre dans place.. Vous voulez commanditer la délé de l’ÉTS? Mais certainement! Contactez-moi!
  Jeux de génie 2008 / Délégation ETS.
• Fausses fenêtres avec stores, éclairage réaliste. Loin du canal Paysages de Back to the Future 2, mais tout de même pratique pour 80% des locaux de l’ÉTS.
  Fake window sheds light on your cubicle

La Presse nous apprenait [1] ce matin – par nulle autre que sa première page – l’existence d’un partenariat entre la Ville de Montréal et l’organisme local Île Sans Fil, pour le déploiement de points d’accès gratuits. Ma première réaction fût « wow! » puisque j’avais eu vent de rumeurs d’une telle collaboration, mais pour que la nouvelle fasse la première page, wow!

Je commence donc à lire.. Plus je lisais, plus je fronçais les sourcils, car moins ça faisait de sens. Je lisais de plus en plus rapidement, tentant de repérer un commentaire des Grands d’ISF, les Michael Lenczner, Benoit Grégoire, Richard Lussier, Alexis Cornellier, Laurent Maisonnave… Rien.

Pendant ce temps, la nouvelle se répand sur la liste de diffusion des volontaires d’ISF. Plus la journée avance, plus on devient sceptique. On y apprend que La Presse et son journaliste Tristan Péloquin se seraient basés sur des documents préliminaires (mais tout de même disponibles sur le site de la Ville [2]). Aucun des membres de l’organisation Montréalaise n’a apparemment été consulté avant la publication.

En plus de se baser sur un document non-officiel et non final (pour un article qui fait la première page d’un journal de bonne réputation, je vous le rappelle), les faits ne pourraient pas avoir étés moins bien rapportés que ça.

On parle de l’installation de 400 nouveaux « hotspots », ce qui représenterait une hausse de 187% par rapport aux 350 actuellement en opération, tout ça pour 200 000$ par année.

Correction : le document prévoit qu’ISF passerait à 400 hotspots, donc 50 – et non 400 – bornes supplémentaires, pour un montant qui est loin d’avoir été confirmé.

Le plus drôle est sans contredis le passage suivant :

La Ville de Paris a quant à elle récemment mis sur pied un réseau de 400 points d’accès gratuits. Le développement du réseau a coûté à la Ville lumière 2 milliards d’euros, plus 500 000 euros par année en entretien.

2 milliards d’euros! Haha! Voir que la Mairie de Paris utiliserait le tiers de son budget annuel [3] pour 400 hotspots! Avoir été parisien, j’aurai appelé à une nouvelle Révolution! Franchement! Il y a une limite à faire des erreurs dans un article (qui je vous le rappelle encore une fois, a fait la une), mais on peut tout de même se servir de son jugement! Je me demande bien ce qu’il aurait pu y avoir de si extraordinaire pour qu’un point d’accès sans fil puisse coûter 5 millions d’euros!

Correction : La Région de l’Île-de-France et la Mairie de Paris ont dépensé près de 2 MILLIONS d’euros, auxquels s’ajoute un demi-million d’euros annuel pour la bande passante et la maintenance.

—

Mis à part tout ça, il n’en reste pas moins que je suis extrêmement content (et jusqu’à un certain point, fier) qu’un tel partenariat ait lieu.

OSBL montréalais, Île Sans Fil fait appel à WifiDog – le portail captif à source libre (« open source ») développé « in-house » par les bénévoles et actuellement utilisé partout dans le monde. ISF agit également comme agent de diffusion et d’échange dans le domaine de l’art numérique et technologique d’artistes montréalais à travers les divers projets ou événements avec lesquels il s’associe.

C’est vraiment une bonne nouvelle pour tout ceux qui ont déjà travaillé ou travaillent toujours au sein d’ISF, pour les citoyens mais aussi pour la Ville de Montréal dont les actes sauront, je l’espère, faire boule de neige au sein de la communauté pro logiciel libre, mais aussi auprès des autres grandes métropoles mondiales.

Longue vie à île Sans Fil! Continuez votre excellent travail!

–
Pierre Nick

[1] Aussi disponible sur Cyberpresse Technaute

[2] Ville de Montréal > Projet d’expansion du réseau de Île sans fil à Montréal

[3] Mairie de Paris > Budget et fiscalité locale > Budget primitif 2007

Je suis de retour du Centre Eaton où c’est déjà Noël! YOUPIE..!
Mais bon, mis-à-part ce mix tristesse/joie, ça je me suis offert une poignée méga malade de DVD, comme ça faisait longtemps que je ne l’avais pas fait.

Heroes Season 1, Family Guy Volume 3, Family Guy Volume 4 et le coffret des Mystérieuses Citées d’Or (!).
Ah ouais et Rosé, le nouveau de Bran Van 3000. Ohh yeah!

- Pierre Nick

• Barcamp Montréal 3 was being held past Saturday at the SAT. Montreal Tech Watch has a pretty awesome synopsis of all the projects presented, with a ton of links to them and pictures of it all. I’m still so mad I was sick like a dog and missed it..
  BarCampMontreal3 in pictures
• Haha! The Zune-adoring guy who got a couple tattoos depicting the Microsoft device was tired to be called the “Zune Tattoo guy” so he’s officially changing his name for “Microsoft Zune”. For real. But can you really change your first name for a trademarked company name?
  Legally changing my name (read on) [Warning: Microsoft and Anti-Apple fanboys ahead]
  
• Sherbrooke grassroots organization ZAP was started by members of Montréal’s successful Île Sans Fil network. It is of course powered by the same WifiDog open-source captive portal system. Check it out if you’re in their Zone [d’Accès Public].
  Zap Sherbrooke

More than ever with the release of Leopard and my deep annoyance of Windows (in general but mainly Vista) have I wanted to write a short article on what I find that is so wrong with Microsoft right now. Luckily for me, some people share my exact view on the mater and how it can’t go on forever.

C|Net blogger Don Reisinger writes an excellent article about the 3 majors facts Microsoft is not going the right way. Although I don’t agree with everything he writes, the three reasons follow my train of thought and here’s my own view on them.

• Reason1: The Vista debacle

Computer makers have been asking Microsoft the right to continue bundling Windows XP with their hardware because some believe that Vista has slowed down sales. I’d like to add the fact that I know one single person who loves Vista very much, and he admitted to me yesterday he was coming from XP Home and that he never actually used or seen Mac OS X. Vista annoys the hell out of everyone and from everything with security pop-ups. Haven’t they heard of the fable The Boy Who Cried Wolf? Microsoft is only training its users to mindlessly click “Allow” on all those scary security threads (such as changing the date and time), until a real security breach occurs, which will of course get the standard “Allow” treatment. This is 1. Annoying 2. Ineffective 3. Not user-friendly (from Microsoft, surprise surprise). One could go endlessly here about Vista (DRM anyone?) …

• Reason2: Google envy

This is one of my favorite argument against how bad Microsoft has become. First, Microsoft is losing focus (mainly in online advertisement) so it can try to catch up to Google. The Search Giant buys DoubleClick: Microsoft buys a random advertisement firm for $6 billions. And this doesn’t only apply to Google. Second, Microsoft aims at beating others, unlike others who try to beat themselves first, which subsequently allows them to beat others. All that Microsoft does is trying to go against others to annoy them: when Google bought this 1.6% stake into Facebook, it did only because Google was also after it.

All of this from the company who’s CEO once said: “I’m going to fucking bury that guy [Eric Schmidt], I have done it before, and I will do it again. I’m going to fucking kill Google”. Ahh! What an exemplary well tempered and rational chief executive officer.

I’m sorry but no one can keep up with such a business model forever. Having a truckload of money and a complete monopoly on the corporate world (read: sign deals with key upper-management people who have zero clue about technology and/or when huge bonuses are involved) only postpones their fate.

• Reseaon3: It’s beyond Microsoft’s control

Basically, Microsoft doesn’t drive innovation (oh really!). Not a single Microsoft product was meant to innovate (even Microsoft Surface, which we have been seeing for a few years at MIT’s Media Lab). Luckily, the guys at the Microsoft Research Centers come save the day on this one.

It’s a sad thing innovation only comes from a handful of players. If they were to disappear (say for example if Microsoft assimilates them), I don’t want to imagine what would happen to the tech world.